Leather Bound #30

I’m writing this column on Thanksgiving Day, grateful for the blessings that I’ve received as an individual, and even more thankful that the nation has elected a new president who is not so much radical as he is radically different from the current inept and ignorant administration; with Obama we have a president who will lead by taking inspiration from the Constitution rather than overseeing an administration that circumvents or destroys it.

 

Although gays and lesbians lost battles for our right to marry in three different states, with the popular vote and state constitutions used to deny us the benefits of full citizenship, this is still a time of hope. 

 

Sometimes we need to take a step or two back in order to leap forward.  All signs indicate that we’re heading in the right direction for equal rights for sexual minorities and that eventually we’ll achieve the civil rights promised to all.  The loss on Prop 8 in California may well have sparked enough national debate across the queer communities and our allies that we’ll see real progress and greater broader-based support for our causes in the future. 

 

And perhaps as a nation we’ll also take a closer look at religious institutions and whether they deserve to maintain their tax-exempt status when serving as political machines.  Wouldn’t it be a miracle if major religions turned back to their doctrines of faith and left public policy to civil leaders?

 

But enough about politics, this is the kick off of the holiday season!

 

In addition to overindulging our palettes and bellies with a traditional feast, most of us celebrate Thanksgiving by looking ahead to the next major holiday, whether that’s Christmas, Hanukah, the winter solstice or Santa Saturday (which, in a departure from years past, has moved from New Hope, PA, to Asbury Park, NJ).

 

Being a sentimental fool, I’ve always loved the winter holidays for their emphasis on hope and second chances.   

 

Followers of this column will probably not be surprised that I go teary-eyed at the end of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.  It’s inspirational to me when Ebenezer Scrooge realizes after his visitation with three spirits that it’s not too late to change who he is, that there’s still time to forge real connections with others and to take joy in their company and in life itself.

 

When I learned that the 2009 Mr. and Ms. Philadelphia Leather contest was being cancelled last month, I confess I felt a bit like Scrooge.  But after my initial “humbug!” response— after a year of grueling soul-searching and making gains in my quest for personal growth, I was sooooo prepared to pass the title along to someone else—I realized that this was a great chance for me to actually have fun with the title. 

 

The hard work is over—I got through the local contest and IML, the yahoo lists and titleholder bickering.  I got to know myself better and got to meet some wonderful and extraordinary people, too.  And having comes to understand and appreciate the failings of others, I’ve also learned a bit about compassion as well.  It’s nice not to have a bitter taste in my mouth.

 

So with my obligations already met, and with most of my personal demons excised, I can now take advantage of the title and just have fun with it.  I can go to parties and events with my boy and just enjoy them as opportunities to connect (and not, as in the past, opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone). 

 

I find myself looking forward to 2009 and getting even more involved.  I’d love to co-host another party like Voyeur (especially if Michael Casey is available to assist… hint hint) or perhaps team up for educational or community-building events. 

 

It’s time for Philadelphia to host a leather town hall forum that would provide an opportunity for local groups to represent themselves and their offerings to interested newcomers (which could take place at the Bike Stop).  It would also be great to hold a symposium on what it means to be a dominant or a sub (in all of our glorious variations) at the

William Way

community center to broaden our audience to folks who aren’t old enough or quite ready to enter a leather bar.  And I’m also looking forward to leading a workshop or two on kinky play techniques at Passional (I’ve committed to teaching an electro class there, although a date hasn’t yet been set).

 

Hopefully with events such as those, and new parties like the Gear Up and Get Laid events at the Bike Stop and Woof! at Sal’s, and new groups like COLD and the Keystone boys of Leather, we’ll continue to see the community grow and offer new and fun possibilities to folks of all sizes and genders and orientations.

 

I look forward being a part of this Philadelphia leather renaissance, although I may drop from sight for a short while as my boy and I prepare our home to be sold. 

 

It was a heartache to take down our playroom (it’s now been converted into a bedroom for unsuspecting buyers), but I can’t wait to start looking for our new dream home.  When my ex-husband and I went house hunting some 15 years ago, our wish list was simple and vanilla: the house had to be in Philadelphia and needed to include a garage, a dishwasher and a garbage disposal (it never even occurred to us that we could add a dishwasher or disposal later!). 

 

As I look forward to 2009, my boy and I have simpler needs—a garage for him to have a workshop and a large basement for us to have a play space (it takes considerable real estate to comfortably lay out a sling, chain web, St. Andrew Cross, bondage/suspension table, rim seat, etc.).  Oh, and preferably the basement would have ability to have a steam room added for a locker room scene and a hole in the floor for piss play...

 

Yes, it’s definitely a time for hope and for increased visibility.  And perhaps even a house party in the near future.

 

I wish you a happy, healthy and hopeful holiday season and new year.